Holding My Last Breath
by Kitsunefan203
Summary: Leaving, was the last thing on my mind, but being brought back, against my will...That's a Hell I'd rather not experience...Axel...just...please, release me, stop this Hell you've pushed me into. Suckie summary, huh?
1. The Descent

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters mentioned in this story, they are the property of Square Enix/Disney

AU: I got bored one day, as most of my fanfictions have come about of being out of boredom, but this one was based off a really awesome short AkuRoku doujin I found on Deviantart. The fanart of which this story was inspired by are under the ownership of the Deviant: Akuhen. This story is also posted up on Deviantart at my page: www.rizafan203. in the Artist Description you can read back to page of each comic page that this based from.

Thank you for reading this not and if you have time, please check out the doujin that this is based off of.

Chapter 1-The Descent

_I thought…I could escape, escape it all, escape them, escape that person I know I am not…that person, he expects me to be. It was only a fling, a passing glance, something, ill fated, a joke, an inside joke. But…he took it as something more; he took it to be true, fated that we were meant to be as one. Why couldn't he understand, we have no hearts, how can you feel something that doesn't exist, if there isn't that one small element. How can he feel, if we don't have…it? A heart, that is what he along with all those other fools longed for, but it's a lie, a big gaping lie. A hole in our lives, that is as big as the void where our non existent hearts would lie. I tried to leave, he tried to stop me, but, I struck him with my words, they cut deeper then any wound I could leave upon his perfect being with my blades of keys. He never gave in, never surrendered to those words. Now…I've fallen from grace, fallen back to this darkness, a darkened world of nothing, with him…staring at me. Tracing my every self with his glass eyes; those emerald green stones that have always managed to melt me into his hands. Hands that have held me in those slender arms, but now, those hands, those caressing, soft, gentle, hands, have bound me to this place._

_Axel…why can't I see you, and why…beyond all comprehension, can't I speak? It's as if you've taken my very words, and sight. Its torture, please, tell me, why must I be blinded, as well, as muted to you?_

The lanky figured watched from his standing position as he watched the short, blonde teen softly struggle against the prison he was shackled to. The man's soft face was twisted into a diabolic smirk, this same smile, passing glance, and posture had been the one thing, that would set this boy on edge. Set him into a position of questioning what this man was thinking. The red mane upon his cranium swayed as he softly stepped towards the teen, his swagger was as if he was drunk, but he wasn't, if anything, he was drunk off the passionate sight that his one desire was back.

"Well, well…welcome back…Number XIII, or is it, Roxas now?" the voice spoke softly as he seemed to lean slightly to the right and the left as he moved towards the figure in the torturous chair.

"Mngh…mmnh…" the chair's prisoner's voice was muffled by the barred gag in his mouth; his eyes were blinded to the figure standing a few feet away from him.

The lanky figure stood in awe at the sight before him; the teen had tried to struggle against the imprisoning chair and now, his brow and face was covered in the sweat of his struggling. This only seemed to entice and intrigue the figure's desires to continue to watch the exhausted teen hunched over in the chair; his voice barred from cursing him for dragging him back to the Organization, his eyes blinded from identifying the one his hatred would be spoken against.

"You never figured this would happen…did you, Roxas?" the figure seemed to slowly move forward; his every step was slow, harsh, and cruel to the ears, not being able to see where he was, or what he would do, was even more torturous then this chair.

Roxas wanted to respond, he wanted nothing more then to summon some unknown and unseen strength, rip away these restraints of his body and maul this person, this man who had dared to rip him from a life he was hoping to live out, away from the Organization. He wanted to make this person, suffer, for destroying any hopes he had of living a life where the lies of not owning a heart, were nothing; that they were a fleeting dream of a mad man who sought to keep the Organization's members in line.

_This is Hell…isn't it…it's not Heaven, or Limbo…I am nowhere in between this Hell allotted me in the time I had to struggle through these horde restraints, my jaw…became sore, halfway through my struggle. My wrists, they have been rubbed raw from these metal shackles upon my wrists; I can barely feel them, they are numb, there is no feelings in these nimble fingers of mine. Damn you…damn this lust you have still for me…I told you…we can't be this way…we don't have hearts…you can't truly be feeling anything for me._

_Axel…let me go…release me from this Hell, where you, are its Satan, its Devil…and I…I am the unfortunate soul, allotted to suffer the torture allotted by its owner. Will you not let me go? Stop this pain in the void of my chest…release me…Please._

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	2. The Beginning Fall Into Hell

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters mentioned in this story, they are the property of Square Enix/Disney

AU: I got bored one day, as most of my fanfictions have come about of being out of boredom, but this one was based off a really awesome short AkuRoku doujin I found on Deviantart. The fanart of which this story was inspired by are under the ownership of the Deviant: Akuhen. This story is also posted up on Deviantart at my page: www.rizafan203. in the Artist Description you can read back to page of each comic page that this based from.

Thank you for reading this not and if you have time, please check out the doujin that this is based off of.

Chapter 2-The Beginning Fall Into Hell

_The Hell won't stop; I can almost feel his gaze, that same gaze that has always pierced me through. Those eyes read like a cat that are waiting to play with its kill, they are sunk into the soft face; his eyebrows, arch in the most keen, and unique ways. They are the one thing that gives him away, without a doubt, easy to read, but those marks below his eyes, what are they? Are they inflictions from a past he can't remember? Does he find his own pleasure in inflicting pain upon himself to make himself feel alive? Or are they his way of proving, he can fit in with this weird world of diversified members of this Organization._

"I'm sorry if you can't speak, I don't need to hear the words I've heard before…don't worry…I'll make sure you can remark later, but for now…let me hear your screams," Axel leaned in towards the boy's face as he played with the chain attached to the leather collar about the boy's neck.

Roxas could only shift about as much as his body would allow, his ankles were bound as were his wrists; any sounds spoken or attempts at spoken words were muffled and slurred by the gag still firmly shoved in his mouth. The man's hand could be felt upon the boy's wrist.

_I could feel his hand upon me, my fingers, how unconsciously they want to curl in and will my body to move my wrist up off this metal restraint, how I wanted to strike him, strike him blindly. That's all I could do, blindly strike at him, and only hope that one of my blind strikes would strike his pompous, smug face. How many times have I threatened to knock that smug look of that face? And yet, how many times, have I stared into that face and become hopelessly lost in the long lost stare he holds and uses to hold me in his gaze. Gaze that holds attention that demands to be reconcile and seek to extinguish the longing, lust filled, desire in those emerald eyes._

"Mnh! Nngh!" Roxas' voice was muffled still as Axel's words seemed to hotly play on his ear, his soft heated touch on his wrist was making the uttering words more forceful and struggling to make known.

The leather collar felt tight against his skin; his ears were filled with Axel's soft, soothing voice that were speaking words that seemed to send cold shutters down his spine that made the chain attached to the collar shake even more. Sounds uttered from his muffled screams and the jingling of the chain about the collar seemed to draw an utter smirk of lust, and even, thoughts of what he could do to make these desirable sounds even louder.

_Why…why is he torturing me like this? His hand is hot, it reads as if it wants to rip these shackles, or even metal them, rip away this horrid item that hides my words and lose himself in this position he has tied me into. God…what did I do to deserve this man…what did I do to deserve this torturous Hell he is throwing me through? Why doesn't he stop this torture and do it and give it over with, so that I can return to the life I was hoping to live out that didn't include this man? Please…someone…anyone…please…save me, take me out of this, and end this Hell…I want him, but yet…at the same time, I don't…Axel…this Hell hurts…end it…please…_

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	3. The Devil And IAgree to Disagree

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters mentioned in this story, they are the property of Square Enix/Disney

AU: I got bored one day, as most of my fanfictions have come about of being out of boredom, but this one was based off a really awesome short AkuRoku doujin I found on Deviantart. The fanart of which this story was inspired by are under the ownership of the Deviant: Akuhen. This story is also posted up on Deviantart at my page: www.rizafan203. in the Artist Description you can read back to page of each comic page that this based from.

Thank you for reading this not and if you have time, please check out the doujin that this is based off of.

Chapter 3-The Devil And I…We Both Agree…That He Hates Me and I Hate Him…

_Whoever said, love is the most desirable thing, a human can experience or want, or that it is the greatest gift one can receive…they lied…but why is it, my mind is racing, pulsating, even screaming? What is this…how can this be…why is it happening…it can only be if I had…no…it's not true…I don't have it. Xemnas said…no…could he…did he… God, why do all the people in my life, lie to me? Why do they do it…why do they lie? I am truly in Hell…and no one can save me now, I'm forever falling deeper into Hell, my screams can't reach his ears. All he hears is screams of want coming from my subconscious that is screaming loud for him to release me, release this prisoner I have become in more then one way._

"Welcome back…to my side…" Axel's voice was soft as his nimble fingertips worked through way through Roxas' soft blonde curls; there was no resistance from the teen, "Did you know…I tried all I could…to keep you here with me…and yet…"

_His hand is upon my face, I can feel his fingers seeming to nimbly slip under the strap of this gag. It's wet with my struggling tensioned sweat, soft tears that I had cried in frustration to struggle from this bond, the tears have come as well from the pain, coursing through my jaw. What is this feeling, I can't see but my eyes can feel his piercing emerald eyes staring at my eyes._

"…You've returned to my side…and I shall never let you leave me now…Roxas," Axel's face was as hot as his hair, his breath seemed to lap over every square inch of the boy's face, "…I love you…Roxas…"

_Why does he torture my senses, his breath, it's so hot, it feels like someone has stuck a roll of hot cinnamon candies under my nose, torturing every nasal receptor of my nose. Oh, how I just want to breath it in, suck it in and drown in it; he always smelled sweet, but he was always a ball of heat when he was close. _

Axel's hands seemed to be unfelt as something hot, and wet, seemed to be felt against the gag around his mouth; Roxas' mind was starting to ring louder and louder, screams from his mind were almost breaking through. His body was starting to shudder as he could unconsciously feel the sickening hot tongue of the man lapping against the gag, teasing the soft lips. His lips were almost reaching out for the lapping muscle, dripping with the saliva just dripping off it that now hung from the barred gag.

_This torture…I can't stand it, what is he doing? Why can't I see it? My mind is screaming louder and louder, it's telling me to just scream out for him to take me, take all of me. Just ravish my body, take my livelihood, make me scream out his name in the dark of this night filled Hell, make my body shutter, shiver, twitch, and convulse against every desired and lust filled touch and action. Axel, please…stop this Devil act…and release me…this prison is more of a Hell then the Hell you are allotting me by keeping me restrained. Axel…please…I beg you…please…_

Read and Review; sorry if the chapters are kinda short. I didn't really know what else to describe the scene going on in the pages of the comic of which this fanfic is based off of.


	4. Descending Into the Lair of Hell

Chapter 4-Descending Into the Lair of Hell

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters mentioned in this story, they are the property of Square Enix/Disney

AU: I got bored one day, as most of my fanfictions have come about of being out of boredom, but this one was based off a really awesome short AkuRoku doujin I found on Deviantart. The fanart of which this story was inspired by are under the ownership of the Deviant: Akuhen. This story is also posted up on Deviantart at my page: www.rizafan203. in the Artist Description you can read back to page of each comic page that this based from.

Thank you for reading this not and if you have time, please check out the doujin that this is based off of.

_God…you have answered my cries…but this Devil, he still desires my body, every square inch of my self, innocence to be snatched away, an innocence that still holds tight like a closed blossom. The restraints…they are gone…my chains are gone…shackles off my now numb wrists, but…I still can't see, I can't speak. This Hell keeps getting deeper and deeper; has my sin of not giving into this deepened lust, has it finally caught up with me? Is the Hell I'm in, is it a way of punishing me for my past transgressions of not giving into his forward advances, his deep touches, the lust filled gazes, and fleeting, failing stares? God, Axel, someone, just someone…answer me these questions I scream tonight._

"I wanted to have all of you…but now…I shall do what I wanted to do," the restraints were gone as the blonde teen was softly, but forcefully thrust onto the bed, his body was nonresistant to the man on him, "…You shall be mine, again…tonight, and for always…"

Soft lips were upon his throat and softly kissing at the under parting of his jaw line as his teeth faintly grazed the bones of his jaw line, soft butterfly kisses left their mark on it as his lips worked about his neck and throat. Hands were clenched in tight to one another as the man on the teen made sure to not crush him with his weight; Roxas' gaze, even though unseen, was looking away from this man as his grunts, groans, and soft moans of resistance, and mixed pleasure were barred by the gag.

_Axel…Axel…please…stop…don't do this anymore, this torture…it hurts…not seeing you before me, or being able to retort back at your words, or speak out against these tender actions…ungh…this is torture enough. You care for me more then anyone else in this Organization…and if you truly did, you would've let me go…you wouldn't have dragged me back. You would've just let me be my own person and live my own life, but, what is a life, if it doesn't have you in it? Isn't that what you used to say? How many times was it that…you use to get me this far into your room, and it would only be these fainted caresses of your lips against my skin, you wanted more, you wanted us to be more…you wanted all of me…_

_And I resisted. Now, I'm paying for that resistance. Axel…I'm sorry for ever leaving…just…now…please stop it all…do what you wanted all those times before…_

Fingers were encurled among one another, the bed squeaked under the shifting weight, both could feel the moving about as Axel seemed to straddle the teen, his lips ever still locked on his body. He wanted to taste every inch of Roxas, it was a hungering desire, to just ravish this body and take it all, eat out the soul of their desired lusted passion between them. So what if it wasn't true that they weren't able to feel…if it was so, what was this feeling between them now? Was it a false thought or a fleeting dream, an imaginary and fleeting, passing moment?

What was it? What was this passing moment between them, that was becoming even more?

_I can't explain this drive that you have me on, there is no way to explain it or to put what I'm feeling now. My mind has all but lost its voice, alarms are still ringing, but they are becoming dull roars as they see that they are nearing the end of their jobs of telling me that this is right, that being here, in this moment, with you, is right. Maybe…just maybe…this Hell…isn't what I thought it was…maybe, it truly is Limbo, but I can't tell yet…I need one more thing to push my answer to its truth…Will you be that key to help me discover that truth…Axel?_

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	5. God…Can You Hear Me? Its Roxas…

Chapter 5-God…Can You Hear Me? Its Roxas…

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters mentioned in this story, they are the property of Square Enix/Disney

AU: I got bored one day, as most of my fanfictions have come about of being out of boredom, but this one was based off a really awesome short AkuRoku doujin I found on Deviantart. The fanart of which this story was inspired by are under the ownership of the Deviant: Akuhen. This story is also posted up on Deviantart at my page: www.rizafan203. in the Artist Description you can read back to page of each comic page that this based from.

Thank you for reading this not and if you have time, please check out the doujin that this is based off of.

_…What is happening to me? God…What has happened…what has changed? I'm not ready…I'm not ready! Please…it's too fast…no, no… I'm at his mercy now…I can feel it coming, this surge has been building; his breath has become hotter, what did he say? Where are his fingers?! I can't feel his hand in mine anymore…No…No…you can't leave me like this, please…Don't leave me like this…_

Roxas' mind was spinning out of control, he became startled by the sound that now filled his ears; Axel's words weren't spoken anymore as the harsh, cold, clicking of the zipper on his coat coming down now filled his ears. The cold steel that had been against his skin was now leaving him, his body was now open to the air about the room, soft fingertips were starting to rove over his body; they were hot to the touch as they moved over his hot skin from being confide for so long mixed with the leather that had been hot against his body from struggling. Axel's lips, tongue, and teeth moved to the heads of the collarbones of the boy's chest which caused him to rise up slightly out of utter surprise for this new action.

"UNH!" Roxas' lips muffled screams cried out as his body went ridge as it arched up in utter shock of the renewed reaction, but Axel's words reached his ears through the actions he continued.

"…Stop…" Axel's words were soft, but his actions weren't stopping as he held the sides of the boy's body to keep his moment from leaving, from losing this body before him.

_This isn't fair, he tells me to stop, but my body is saying "No", it's screaming it, my whole being is just screaming, so, its not just me…I not only want it, my body, soul, my desires, this lust that is built up in me, it wants him. It wants him to just remove this barrier that holds back my screams, I want him back to my lips…his teasing mouth, his hot lips…God, how those lips burn, my own are burning with the want for him. Please…stop telling me to "Stop…" I don't want to "Stop"…I want it to move faster, I want to move with you…Please…stop telling me what to do…_

His hands could feel the teen softly stopping from pushing him up and off as his fingertips worked over his chest as they made for the bumps upon his chest as they pressed softly against them. It uttered a grunting, muffled sound from the boy as he seemed to whine at the pressure. He heard the sounds, he liked what he heard as he did it again, he continued it on torturously as he listened to the sounds uttered from the arching and moving teen.

"…Stop…it will hurt…" Axel whispered softly as his mouth moved from the collarbones, those slender bones to now, causing more sounds to be uttered from the teen as he let his tongue loll against the other sensitive bump as he seemed to take his time.

"…Aaaahhh…Nngh…Mngh…Nnh…" Roxas' voice moaned out through the gag as it flinched and bucked, he didn't want it to be hurt, he wanted it to be pleasurable, he wanted it all, he wanted Axel, "Nnn!"

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	6. The Descent…Has Ended…

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters mentioned in this story, they are the property of Square Enix/Disney

AU: I got bored one day, as most of my fanfictions have come about of being out of boredom, but this one was based off a really awesome short AkuRoku doujin I found on Deviantart. The fanart of which this story was inspired by are under the ownership of the Deviant: Akuhen. This story is also posted up on Deviantart at my page: www.rizafan203. in the Artist Description you can read back to page of each comic page that this based from.

Thank you for reading this not and if you have time, please check out the doujin that this is based off of.

Chapter 6-The Descent…Has Ended…

…_Limbo is the one place where you don't know whether or not you are in Heaven or Hell…I've been here for these past moments, these heated seconds…I have to make a decision…Have I been allotted the existence and pleasure of living forever in Heaven, or am I doomed to a life of eternal torture of pain, suffering, non wanting, and lustful desire? My self being screams a mix of the two; while my body has screamed that this was Hell…I can say this…For once in my life…I'm not sure…I need more…I need more of this to find my answer…_

The pained pleasure came to a standstill as its punisher pulled away from the criminal; he hovered over him while still straddling his hips as his fingers softly moved up behind the teen's head as he undid the restraints of the gag as he held it in his hands. Its fingers were softly curled against it as they rested it against the bed as he hovered over him, his words echoed softly from above him. Roxas' mind was in a daze and clouded by the heat of everything around him; he felt he had been drugged, and he had, and the drug was Axel. He had drugged him with a drink of utter desire, passion that had long beyond backed away from. Roxas' voice came softly, but faint, he couldn't speak; he was lost in the moment of having the harsh restraint against lips removed, it took his mind a few moments to finish catching up to himself.

"…Let me hear your voice…" Axel's words were faintly soft as they at first sounded garbled but Roxas' mind began to hear them and comprehend them.

Roxas' lips worked to speak, his mind worked to speak forth what he wanted to say to him until they softly moved and formed the first words, "…Stop…" His mind said it, but his lips could not speak them.

…_What is wrong with me…Why can't I talk? Has he made my mind so hoarse and worn out that it won't allow me to speak? I want to say the words…but they won't come…Someone…help me…please, help me speak._

The teen was exhausted, his body wracked from the struggle to release himself from the restraints, from the man's actions upon him that had left Roxas physically exhausted, but not subconsciously exhausted. His body steamed with the heat that had come from them together, his breath was a soft pant, his chest was exposed and it showed the marks of their soft passion. Axel could see it in his blindfolded eyes that he was he could faintly speak until he saw a soft uttering word escape the boy's lips, "..S…Stop!"

"…Stop what, Roxas?"

"Stop the pain…"

"…You have to tell me what the pain is…before I can cure you of it…"

"…The heartache in my heart…it hurts…this void, it hurts…I can't…I can't…I can't fix it…"

Axel could tell he was in pain, his voice told the story; his soft emerald eyes closed half way softly as he moved slowly down upon the boy's lips as he worked them softly, he could hear him moaning to almost stop the pain. He was trying all he could to cure the pain as he pressed in harder to them; he couldn't cure him alone if Roxas wasn't willing to work with him as he worked his body in against Roxas, he wanted him to utter something, or do something. Toss him off, tell him was stupid, and tell him off, anything…he didn't want this reaction he was feeling to help him, be for nothing and out of nothing. It was then that he felt Roxas' reaction as he felt the lips push back, his tongue working softly over his as he faintly moaned against it all. In that moment, it was over…the pain…was gone.

_It is over…my journey to find out…if I'm living in Hell, Limbo, or Heaven…is over…For now…I am in Heaven, and always was, when I was this close to Axel…the Hell I was allotted…it was nothing more then the twinge pains of desires that could never be…I had held true to the fact we didn't have hearts, and by holding to that…I fell further into Hell…My Limbo…that was when I was indecisive…uncaring…unwilling to accept these feelings, unwilling to accept Axel as more then just someone that exists without a heart…_

_Now…I shall forever…live…in between…these Worlds. Never, finding myself, as my own self…_

_Axel…you've made my Heaven…your feelings of want for me…created my Limbo…and this void, that I can now feel filling up like a hot spring of desires fulfilled, overflowing like a volcano of hot lava pouring over its basin top…you were my Hell…now…it is no more. I've found my way out of Hell…and now, now I lay to me down to sleep…so that when I awake…I shall find myself…in Heaven._

Read and Review, and thanks for reading if you managed to get the point of this fanfic that in my mind, had no real point to it but if you've read the mini doujin this based off of, you would better understand. But if you got the point of it, then, thanks for reading it w/o needing explaination


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